Dear Dear Namibia & Roommate's Boyfriend

My best friend introduced me to a blog called Dear Namibia on which one of her friends writes little snippits of her life in the Peace Corps in Namibia in quick letter form.  Needless to say, I totally have a blog crush on her and now I, only once in a while, want to do the same thing.  However, I think I'm meaner than her, but here goes:

Dear Roommate's Boyfriend,

Please understand.  When I say, "it's not that I don't like you, I just don't want to go play tennis with you and roommate in the heat with only two rackets," it really is not that I dislike you(1), but it is 100 degrees outside(2) and I want to drink a beer(3) and relax(4).  

Sincerely(5),

Your girlfriend's roommate(6)

(1) I do dislike you, but this is immaterial.

(2) and you're an idiot for wanting to play tennis in your slip on Dr. Martin's.

(3) you drive me to drink.

(4) and I can't do that when I can hear you speak in your muppet voice, seriously, what the hell is wrong with your voice?

(5) see footnotes.

(6) for now.